Anyway, Horrible Eminem parody aside, let's get straight into the idiocy:
The Radical Left is waging an all-out war on Christianity in America.
They're purging any and all public expressions of the Christian faith and morals from our country.
Christian businessmen, sermons, monuments to the Ten Commandments, and even the Cross itself are in their crosshairs.
*snerk* No. Well, maybe the monuments, but only on public grounds. You can have them on your lawns (assuming your HOA isn't a bunch of goddamn pricks, but that's another issue altogether) and on your churches.
And anyone unwilling to surrender their values to their Liberal Agenda should be criminalized.
Do you agree? What do you say?
I say you're paranoid, but then again, I'm not a loony, I just have Aspergers.
And here he says there's going to be a survey, which I'll share with you as I do it when I'm done with the donation call.
You see, the Radical Left is sneaking through Washington demanding passage of their agenda.
They are tempting Republican leadership in Congress to turn their backs on the Obama Administration's war on Christianity.
And they insist YOU actually support them.
Why, yes! Yes I do. And could it possibly be that the GOP congressional leadership is realizing how fucking wrong you are?
To make matters worse, more and more Republicans in Congress are abandoning the pro-Family values they were elected to defend.
No, they're starting to realize that there are gay, non-christian, and non-bigoted-christian people in their constituency as well as bigots like yourself.
Recently, Speaker of the House John Boehner signaled Republicans in Congress would not fight to restore Real Marriage if the Supreme Court mandates acceptance of homosexual "marriage" nationwide.
Really? It's about damn time, if true. Which it kinda is, apparently. But it's more that they're going to stay out of the case itself.
I can only begin to imagine how much more damage the Radical Left will do if they co-opt the majority of the opposition party.
As the President of Public Advocate of the United States, I’ve devoted more than thirty years to battling the anti-Christian Left in Washington.
Backed by Hollywood celebrities, the media and millions of your tax dollars, the Radical Left has many Congressmen quivering with fear -- because they wield tremendous influence in BOTH parties.
That’s why pro-Family Senators and Congressmen are counting on me to find out if you really support the radical Left's war on Christianity.
I really doubt they are. You're a tiny organization which doesn't do shit, Eugene.
Frankly, if you really do support Left's war on Christianity -- or if you just no longer care enough to stand up for Religious Liberty -- insiders in Congress say the foundations of Traditional Values could be destroyed in a matter of months.
I really, really hope that's accurate. This is the one thing that you've said that I honestly hope isn't just blubbering hyperbole. I don't think it is accurate, but that'd be nice.
And now we get in to the fact-checking segment of our irregulary scheduled program:
The Left's war on Christianity has undermined Christians' Religious Liberties at home, in the church, and on the job:
*** A Phoenix, Arizona man was arrested for hosting a Bible study on his own property.
The Radical Left's efforts to destroy the Christian culture of America has gone beyond the public square and into our own homes.
Lessee...I remember something a little different happening...Let's find out...
Oh, Lookit that. It ISN'T true. Again. He was arrested for continuous violations of building codes, including noise and public safety violations. Sweet Dibella...
*** The IRS cut a secret deal agreeing to monitor churches' sermons, a clear step towards muzzling all speech they disagree with.
After being sued by the Freedom From Religion Foundation, the IRS committed to closely monitor church sermons for speech that could be taken as "political" in nature.
First, that deal is not so secret. It's from a damn lawsuit, and it was made fucking public by the plaintiff.
Second, they were supposed to be keeping churches apolitical in the first place. That was the point of the damn lawsuit.
*** Christian-owned businesses are being slammed with expensive lawsuits and backbreaking fines.
The Radical Left is bombarding the economic liberty of Christian entrepreneurs through government overregulation and the threat of heavy fines for refusing to submit to the redefinition of marriage.
There is a difference between "Congratulations Bill & Ted" and "Jesus Loves the Gays". Also, you are not being asked to officiate a wedding. You are not even being asked to attend. You are being asked to perform a service you would do for any straight couple. Because the couple you refused is gay, you are guilty of violating anti-discrimination law. Just like if the couple were mixed-race and you baked cakes for all-white or all-black weddings, you would be guilty of breaking anti-discrimination law. That excuse of "religious liberty", by the way, was used against miscegenation back in the 60s after Loving. It won't fly now, either.
And to add insult to injury, lobbyists for the Radical Left are paid off with your tax dollars!
That’s right, anti-Christian groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center and the Human Rights Campaign receive millions from the government.
Hundreds of millions of tax dollars flow to anti-Christian activists through funding for so-called "civil rights" programs and research grants -- and I've read in the paper that cash even went to build a strip club!
Do you think that's acceptable?
Citation bloody needed, for one thing. Second, these people actually do that research and put together those programs, unlike you who asks for 50 bucks from every person on your mailing list even though the cost of a single letter is under a fiver, and an e-mail even less, and sending letters and e-mails is all you bloody do.
My friends in Congress tell me there’s virtually nothing on Capitol Hill from the tens of millions of Americans like you who oppose the Radical Left's war on Religious Liberty.
Except I don't. Because it doesn't exist.
They say that the Radical Left is closer than ever to criminalizing every aspect of our Christian faith.
When I heard that, I made up my mind to write to you and as many other patriotic Americans as possible.
No you didn't, because they didn't, because they aren't.
To stop the Left's attacks on Christianity and protect our Religious Liberties, there must be an immediate outpouring of support from folks like you.
Bitch, I am fucking against you. Geez, if it wasn't for the ideological differences, you and modern "feminists" would get along SWIMMINGLY what with your love of exaggeration and hyperbole.
Leftist activists mock me in the halls of Congress.
Anyone got a citation for this? Because I would actually LOVE to see this. It'd make C-SPAN worth watching.
They say it’s too late because Americans like you don’t care enough to help, especially with the court rulings redefining marriage and President Obama's dangerous lame duck years.
If they're so "dangerous", why are they called "lame duck years"?
They say you support them. I tell them they are lying. They just laugh and tell me to give up.
Are they right? Should I just give up and let the Radical Left win?
Yes. Yes they are, and yes you should. Though I admit it would give me one less thing to laugh at.
Will you fight?
If, as I hope and pray, you still oppose the war on our Christianity and want to defend Religious Liberty, then please click here immediately to fill out yourAmerican Morality Survey and chip in $10 or $20 to Public Advocate
right away.
I must tell you, your financial contribution is critical.
You see, while the Radical Left get tens of millions of tax dollars, Public Advocate gets no government funds.
Good for you. What do you want, a freakin' medal?
For many Public Advocate supporters, a contribution of $10 is a sacrificial gift.
I only ask you to prayerfully consider what you can afford.
Then you don't know me very well.
You see, I’ve stretched Public Advocate’s resources to contact you and other select Americans who I believe are most likely to take a stand in these difficult times.
If you won’t help, I’m afraid there is little more I can do.
But the fact is, even if every person responds, it won’t be enough to counter all the Leftist activists are doing.
Then why the fuck do you bother? Oh, wait, you don't.
And not everyone will respond. Some are cowed by how pro-Family Americans are portrayed on TV. Others will count on someone else to fight the fight and carry the load. I don’t believe you are like that.
You're right: I'm not. I don't support you. The only reason I stay on this list is because it's funny.
I’ve identified nearly 10 million families I believe would join our struggle for morality if only I can reach them.
If you identified them the same way you identified me, you need to get your eyes, glasses, and other identifying apparatuses checked. Badly.
The anti-Christian Radical Left boasts you support same-sex marriage, special employment rights for homosexuals, and bans on Christian speech.
Please let Congress know the anti-Christian Left is lying.
They aren't.
And let's take a look at the survey:
The sanest one is question one, but the rest...let's fix them shall we?
2. Should business owners be held to account for breaking the law, regardless of religious belief?
3. Do you support giving gays protection from being fired for being gay?
4. Should the IRS be monitoring the sermons of churches for political activism like directly sponsoring candidates for political office?
There, now your questions are far more honest.
