Look who's back. Look who's back. Look who's back. Look who's back. Look who's back. Look who's back. Der-er-erp derp derp derp der-er-erp.
Anyway, Horrible Eminem parody aside, let's get straight into the idiocy:
The Radical Left is waging an all-out war on Christianity in America.
They're purging any and all public expressions of the Christian faith and morals from our country.
Christian businessmen, sermons, monuments to the Ten Commandments, and even the Cross itself are in their
*snerk* No. Well, maybe the monuments, but only on public grounds. You can have them on your lawns (assuming your HOA isn't a bunch of goddamn pricks, but that's another issue altogether) and on your churches.
And anyone unwilling to surrender their values to their Liberal Agenda should be
Do you agree? What do you say?
I say you're paranoid, but then again, I'm not a loony, I just have Aspergers.
And here he says there's going to be a survey, which I'll share with you as I do it when I'm done with the donation call.
You see, the Radical
Left is sneaking through Washington demanding passage of their agenda.
They are tempting
Republican leadership in Congress to turn their backs on the Obama Administration's war on Christianity.
And they insist YOU actually support them.
Why, yes! Yes I do. And could it possibly be that the GOP congressional leadership is realizing how fucking wrong you are?
To make matters worse, more and more
Republicans in Congress are abandoning the pro-Family values they were elected to defend.
No, they're starting to realize that there are gay, non-christian, and non-bigoted-christian people in their constituency as well as bigots like yourself.
Recently, Speaker of the House John Boehner signaled Republicans in
Congress would not fight to restore Real Marriage if the Supreme Court
mandates acceptance of homosexual "marriage" nationwide.
Really? It's about damn time, if true. Which it kinda is, apparently. But it's more that they're going to stay out of the case itself.
I can only begin to
imagine how much more damage the Radical Left will do if they co-opt the majority of the opposition party.
As the President of Public Advocate of the United States, I’ve
devoted more than thirty years to battling the anti-Christian Left in
Hollywood celebrities, the media and millions of your tax dollars, the
Radical Left has many Congressmen quivering with
fear -- because they wield tremendous influence in BOTH parties.
That’s why pro-Family Senators and Congressmen are counting on me to find out if you really support the
radical Left's war on Christianity.
I really doubt they are. You're a tiny organization which doesn't do shit, Eugene.
Frankly, if you really do support
Left's war on Christianity -- or if you just no longer care enough to
stand up for Religious Liberty -- insiders in
the foundations of Traditional Values could be destroyed in a matter of
I really, really hope that's accurate. This is the one thing that you've said that I honestly hope isn't just blubbering hyperbole. I don't think it is accurate, but that'd be nice.
And now we get in to the fact-checking segment of our irregulary scheduled program:
The Left's war on
Christianity has undermined Christians' Religious Liberties at home, in the church, and on the job:
*** A Phoenix, Arizona man was arrested for hosting a Bible study on his own property.
The Radical Left's efforts to destroy the Christian culture of America has gone beyond the public square and into our own homes.
Lessee...I remember something a little different happening...Let's find out...
Oh, Lookit that. It ISN'T true. Again. He was arrested for continuous violations of building codes, including noise and public safety violations. Sweet Dibella...
*** The IRS cut a secret deal agreeing to monitor churches' sermons, a clear step towards muzzling all speech they
After being sued by the Freedom From Religion Foundation, the IRS committed to
closely monitor church sermons for speech that could be taken as "political" in nature.
First, that deal is not so secret. It's from a damn lawsuit, and it was made fucking public by the plaintiff.
Second, they were supposed to be keeping churches apolitical in the first place. That was the point of the damn lawsuit.
*** Christian-owned businesses are being slammed with expensive lawsuits and backbreaking fines.
The Radical Left is bombarding the economic
liberty of Christian entrepreneurs through government overregulation and
the threat of heavy fines for refusing to submit to the
redefinition of marriage.
There is a difference between "Congratulations Bill & Ted" and "Jesus Loves the Gays". Also, you are not being asked to officiate a wedding. You are not even being asked to attend. You are being asked to perform a service you would do for any straight couple. Because the couple you refused is gay, you are guilty of violating anti-discrimination law. Just like if the couple were mixed-race and you baked cakes for all-white or all-black weddings, you would be guilty of breaking anti-discrimination law. That excuse of "religious liberty", by the way, was used against miscegenation back in the 60s after Loving. It won't fly now, either.
And to add insult to injury, lobbyists for the Radical Left are paid off with your tax dollars!
That’s right, anti-Christian groups like the Southern Poverty Law
Center and the Human Rights Campaign receive
millions from the government.
Hundreds of millions of tax dollars flow to anti-Christian
activists through funding for so-called "civil rights"
programs and research grants -- and I've read in the paper that
cash even went to build a strip club!
Do you think that's acceptable?
Citation bloody needed, for one thing. Second, these people actually do that research and put together those programs, unlike you who asks for 50 bucks from every person on your mailing list even though the cost of a single letter is under a fiver, and an e-mail even less, and sending letters and e-mails is all you bloody do.
My friends in Congress tell me there’s virtually nothing on Capitol Hill
from the tens of millions of Americans like you
who oppose the Radical Left's war on Religious Liberty.
Except I don't. Because it doesn't exist.
They say that the Radical Left is closer
than ever to criminalizing every aspect of our Christian faith.
When I heard that, I made up my
mind to write to you and as many other patriotic Americans as possible.
No you didn't, because they didn't, because they aren't.
To stop the Left's
attacks on Christianity and protect our Religious Liberties, there must
be an immediate outpouring of support from folks
Bitch, I am fucking against you. Geez, if it wasn't for the ideological differences, you and modern "feminists" would get along SWIMMINGLY what with your love of exaggeration and hyperbole.
Leftist activists mock me in the halls of Congress.
Anyone got a citation for this? Because I would actually LOVE to see this. It'd make C-SPAN worth watching.
They say it’s too late because
Americans like you don’t care enough to help, especially with the court
rulings redefining marriage and President Obama's
dangerous lame duck years.
If they're so "dangerous", why are they called "lame duck years"?
They say you support them. I tell them they are lying. They just
laugh and tell me to give up.
Are they right? Should I just give up and let the Radical Left
Yes. Yes they are, and yes you should. Though I admit it would give me one less thing to laugh at.
Will you fight?
If, as I hope and pray,
you still oppose the war on our Christianity and want to defend Religious Liberty, then please click here immediately to fill out yourAmerican Morality Survey and chip in $10 or $20 to Public Advocate
I must tell you, your financial contribution is critical.
You see, while the
Radical Left get tens of millions of tax dollars, Public Advocate gets no government funds.
Good for you. What do you want, a freakin' medal?
For many Public Advocate supporters, a contribution of $10 is a sacrificial gift.
I only ask you
to prayerfully consider what you can afford.
Then you don't know me very well.
You see, I’ve stretched Public
Advocate’s resources to contact you and other select Americans who I
believe are most likely to take a stand in these
If you won’t help, I’m afraid there is little more I can do.
But the fact is, even if every person responds, it won’t be enough to counter all the Leftist
activists are doing.
Then why the fuck do you bother? Oh, wait, you don't.
And not everyone will respond. Some are cowed by how pro-Family
Americans are portrayed on TV. Others will count on
someone else to fight the fight and carry the load. I don’t believe you
are like that.
You're right: I'm not. I don't support you. The only reason I stay on this list is because it's funny.
I’ve identified nearly 10 million families I believe would join our struggle
for morality if only I can reach them.
If you identified them the same way you identified me, you need to get your eyes, glasses, and other identifying apparatuses checked. Badly.
The anti-Christian Radical Left boasts you support same-sex marriage, special employment rights for homosexuals,
and bans on Christian speech.
Please let Congress know the anti-Christian Left is lying.
And let's take a look at the survey:
The sanest one is question one, but the rest...let's fix them shall we?
2. Should business owners be held to account for breaking the law, regardless of religious belief?
3. Do you support giving gays protection from being fired for being gay?
4. Should the IRS be monitoring the sermons of churches for political activism like directly sponsoring candidates for political office?
There, now your questions are far more honest.